These beards are infused with the actual beard hairs of Zeus* and have been blessed at the Temple of Chuck Norris** . They also have the Official Seal of Fantasticness & Bloody Great from Brian Blessed***.
- Polyester / cotton blend of ultimate superiority – no pilling, great at keeping their shape
- Beards are great
*This is an unverified statement
**Actually my spare bedroom with a signed picture of Chuck Norris from 1997
***May not be entirely true